- 01 -
Why do the good involvement often thankless?
All common cost of mental health, I am no longer a public praise of the good.
My dad's foreign people is wonderful, in order to get such a praise - he was a good man, it will take everything on hands. So he must lose money in business. So did my brother, cannot do little leadership at the site, because the more people, the more he tired.
I am a good man, never give people trouble - many people feel like this? But, there is no trouble, no emotion. Don't bother each other, relationship is not established.
Deep philosophy of be frightened by this trouble, must be early in life, in the home is built.
If parents a love and passion in your heart, they will bring joy to meet the children, so children will slowly with confidence and a little justly and strength to help to love.
But if parents do not enthusiasm, to the child's good, are trying to make, so children even if in fact has been satisfied, still feel like hurt parents, generating guilty, later don't bother to go to the parents as much as possible, thus forming philosophy be frightened by this trouble.
Links are good, and to cut off the link leads to the darkness, the more lonely people, the more internal darkness. Chinese man, is for the fear of the darkness, to be good.
Very good good man, will be more and more escape interpersonal relationships. Is the most failed, super good relationships. Good person hides a logic is: I paid everything for you, you will love me.
Close, however, can only be achieved through real and open, and the pay is not the effect. You constantly pay, it will give each other make guilty, cause each other more want to away from you.
Freud said that a man must learn to express his reasonable or symbolic aggression, otherwise he will be out of the psychological problems.
Mental health, is the need to pay the price, and a common price is all - I am no longer a public praise of the good.
- 02 -
Why do girls like uncle?
The Chinese emotional patterns are looking for mom.
A visitor told me that in chaoshan area, some female high school students with uncle, uncle not to money, just want to get some attention and love from the uncle.
This kind of girl, is often the most neglected children in families with many children, and in the relationship with the uncle, also repeatedly before they neglected the relationship model, the man has his own family, not to the attention of all leaning on her.
According to the normal psychological development, if the girl in the native families got enough love, then to college age, go looking for passion and independence.
If there is a man said to you at this time, you don't have to work, how much money every month for you, I'll take care of you, a normal girl would refuse to, because she didn't want to be constraints. But the girl promised to easily.
Girls always pouting, this is in milk to eat. They desire to be inclusive, want a sense of security, and peers only passion, this level of enthusiasm is often carried out, so for uncle.
A lot of uncle is reasonable in childhood, parents don't have to worry about their children, their young age, the nature of the child lost prematurely. And girl in together, they also meet the part back to the illusion of childhood, is a compensation for yourself.
Love, is the correction of early childhood experience. Early childhood trauma and longing, in love will appear. Infants are not good mother, and this will lead to in love, everyone will find mom.
And the more scarce, the stronger the desire to find mom, so women are relatively scarce, even on the feeling attracted to a male man, but really the choice, or choose more maternal man.
- 03 -
Why do all parents like to urge marriage?
With full surface to avoid broken hearts - the deep logic of forced marriage.
When reading a graduate student, meet a very attractive girl, 25 years, and he began to worry unmarriageable. She later married in a hurry and left, and happily married, now is extremely attractive.
So open now, her world, but at the time of the anxiety can still recall that she really hard to understand, why I have to blind worry this.
In fact, not only parents like so, extended/priest, we, too, as may be so. This is a topic that all social anxiety, you how still not married, have children set up a family? What's the matter with you? You are not normal?
Marry and have children, constitute a complete family, so it seems to live as a normal person, like a complete of the living. As a result, the inner is incomplete, the inner broken hearts, can escape.
So, rural and town, once an accident to the joyous, give psychological incomplete, incomplete social even physiological are incomplete children, with a joyous way, the whole an qi to live samples, lie to deceive people, fool the child, also lie to lie to yourself.
Taiwan scholar lung-kee sun in his book "the deep structure of Chinese culture", wrote in the collectivist culture of China, a man is not complete, he couldn't even constitute a unit, not into the house of single, crazy, and so on, they will be excluded from the family system, or a badly neglected and must be married and have children to build a complete family, would constitute a respected independent units.
With full surface, to avoid broken inside, this performance too. But broken inside let a person afflictive, at this point, human beings should be in common.
- 04 -
Why did the goddess's boyfriend is mostly not good-looking?
All kinds of classic Chinese men, actually is all about women's sense of security to design.
The grade of a male colleague to buy clothes shocked me, he looks at each of the clothes, I feel quite ugly, and I think good point, he have been reluctant to try.
But, in my special will dress up the beautiful former girlfriend, I like the male colleague, also specially to buy ugly clothes men.
With her in the few years, if walking in the street, external image contrast, we definitely should be the recently popular a point: the Chinese man not worthy to Chinese women. I object to this.
As a psychological consultant, I've heard a lot of beautiful women say: I don't care about man's appearance. Accordingly, I have seen some very handsome Chinese men, they are looking for lover, appearance is far more than their own.
This comes from a very simple psychological: appearance of narcissism. That is, a person grow very good-looking, and the nice became his self-worth Chinese super important core part, even so, he will not let the side also is beauty, even very hate the same appearance of narcissism.
In love, the pursuit of self perfection of the power, rather than the so-called noancient, even happiness. So, appearance is narcissistic handsome boy beauty, they are lovers of beauty without the perseverance, they want to, is part of the body lacks.
Chinese women, the lack of what? The answer is, a sense of security! All kinds of classic Chinese men, actually is all about women's sense of security to design. This is I would say the key to Chinese men and Chinese women to match absolutely.
Many women told me that they would choose a man for boyfriend or husband, especially to marry, because the man let her have a sense of security.
Why you always want to find a date when dating with?
Why do men and women both parties full engagement at the beginning, talk about the ideal love, but then more talk more?
Why high school language lesson, everyone don't answer this question? Why, our society and is full of "silent majority"?
Why many old husband and wife, the energetic, aggressive, can make their strong voice and desires, old still alert lady, and its partners to deafness, and wooden too?
Why many students, their pain, column first, is by no means the university entrance exam, but don't know how to deal with their parents after college entrance examination defeat, family, teachers, classmates and friends?
Why do you the most reasonable, the trouble child, always quiet, lonely autistic, no vitality, is always neglected in many children?
......
, can be seen, all this phenomenon, appears to be our daily, is deeply rooted in our national character. 90% of our love and pain, and a basic fact about - most adults, psychological level is the baby. Like adults, it is carried out, and such countries, China is bigger.
As the "baby" and "baby" interpretation of the concept of the moment of the heart, national character, problems become clearly visible. Carried out a universal narcissistic psychology, which psychological collectivism and foolish filial piety deep psychological mechanism, the psychological mechanism, has given rise to China's good man, a control freak, persecuted delusion, helplessness, insecurity and manic depression and a series of psychological problems of the common.
We developed very complex behavior, on power, reputation, achievements and substances such as demand can rise to high levels, but they often is a defense, are two babies are not meet the original simple desire of transformation. A wish is: baby come to me; A wish is: look at me.
Wish you were here, hug your heart left out baby, live out yourself.
Why do the good involvement often thankless?
All common cost of mental health, I am no longer a public praise of the good.
My dad's foreign people is wonderful, in order to get such a praise - he was a good man, it will take everything on hands. So he must lose money in business. So did my brother, cannot do little leadership at the site, because the more people, the more he tired.
I am a good man, never give people trouble - many people feel like this? But, there is no trouble, no emotion. Don't bother each other, relationship is not established.
Deep philosophy of be frightened by this trouble, must be early in life, in the home is built.
If parents a love and passion in your heart, they will bring joy to meet the children, so children will slowly with confidence and a little justly and strength to help to love.
Links are good, and to cut off the link leads to the darkness, the more lonely people, the more internal darkness. Chinese man, is for the fear of the darkness, to be good.
Very good good man, will be more and more escape interpersonal relationships. Is the most failed, super good relationships. Good person hides a logic is: I paid everything for you, you will love me.
Close, however, can only be achieved through real and open, and the pay is not the effect. You constantly pay, it will give each other make guilty, cause each other more want to away from you.
Freud said that a man must learn to express his reasonable or symbolic aggression, otherwise he will be out of the psychological problems.
Mental health, is the need to pay the price, and a common price is all - I am no longer a public praise of the good.
Why do girls like uncle?
The Chinese emotional patterns are looking for mom.
A visitor told me that in chaoshan area, some female high school students with uncle, uncle not to money, just want to get some attention and love from the uncle.
This kind of girl, is often the most neglected children in families with many children, and in the relationship with the uncle, also repeatedly before they neglected the relationship model, the man has his own family, not to the attention of all leaning on her.
According to the normal psychological development, if the girl in the native families got enough love, then to college age, go looking for passion and independence.
If there is a man said to you at this time, you don't have to work, how much money every month for you, I'll take care of you, a normal girl would refuse to, because she didn't want to be constraints. But the girl promised to easily.
Girls always pouting, this is in milk to eat. They desire to be inclusive, want a sense of security, and peers only passion, this level of enthusiasm is often carried out, so for uncle.
A lot of uncle is reasonable in childhood, parents don't have to worry about their children, their young age, the nature of the child lost prematurely. And girl in together, they also meet the part back to the illusion of childhood, is a compensation for yourself.
Love, is the correction of early childhood experience. Early childhood trauma and longing, in love will appear. Infants are not good mother, and this will lead to in love, everyone will find mom.
And the more scarce, the stronger the desire to find mom, so women are relatively scarce, even on the feeling attracted to a male man, but really the choice, or choose more maternal man.
Why do all parents like to urge marriage?
With full surface to avoid broken hearts - the deep logic of forced marriage.
When reading a graduate student, meet a very attractive girl, 25 years, and he began to worry unmarriageable. She later married in a hurry and left, and happily married, now is extremely attractive.
So open now, her world, but at the time of the anxiety can still recall that she really hard to understand, why I have to blind worry this.
In fact, not only parents like so, extended/priest, we, too, as may be so. This is a topic that all social anxiety, you how still not married, have children set up a family? What's the matter with you? You are not normal?
Marry and have children, constitute a complete family, so it seems to live as a normal person, like a complete of the living. As a result, the inner is incomplete, the inner broken hearts, can escape.
So, rural and town, once an accident to the joyous, give psychological incomplete, incomplete social even physiological are incomplete children, with a joyous way, the whole an qi to live samples, lie to deceive people, fool the child, also lie to lie to yourself.
Taiwan scholar lung-kee sun in his book "the deep structure of Chinese culture", wrote in the collectivist culture of China, a man is not complete, he couldn't even constitute a unit, not into the house of single, crazy, and so on, they will be excluded from the family system, or a badly neglected and must be married and have children to build a complete family, would constitute a respected independent units.
With full surface, to avoid broken inside, this performance too. But broken inside let a person afflictive, at this point, human beings should be in common.
Why did the goddess's boyfriend is mostly not good-looking?
All kinds of classic Chinese men, actually is all about women's sense of security to design.
The grade of a male colleague to buy clothes shocked me, he looks at each of the clothes, I feel quite ugly, and I think good point, he have been reluctant to try.
But, in my special will dress up the beautiful former girlfriend, I like the male colleague, also specially to buy ugly clothes men.
With her in the few years, if walking in the street, external image contrast, we definitely should be the recently popular a point: the Chinese man not worthy to Chinese women. I object to this.
As a psychological consultant, I've heard a lot of beautiful women say: I don't care about man's appearance. Accordingly, I have seen some very handsome Chinese men, they are looking for lover, appearance is far more than their own.
This comes from a very simple psychological: appearance of narcissism. That is, a person grow very good-looking, and the nice became his self-worth Chinese super important core part, even so, he will not let the side also is beauty, even very hate the same appearance of narcissism.
In love, the pursuit of self perfection of the power, rather than the so-called noancient, even happiness. So, appearance is narcissistic handsome boy beauty, they are lovers of beauty without the perseverance, they want to, is part of the body lacks.
Chinese women, the lack of what? The answer is, a sense of security! All kinds of classic Chinese men, actually is all about women's sense of security to design. This is I would say the key to Chinese men and Chinese women to match absolutely.
Many women told me that they would choose a man for boyfriend or husband, especially to marry, because the man let her have a sense of security.
Why you always want to find a date when dating with?
Why do men and women both parties full engagement at the beginning, talk about the ideal love, but then more talk more?
Why high school language lesson, everyone don't answer this question? Why, our society and is full of "silent majority"?
Why many old husband and wife, the energetic, aggressive, can make their strong voice and desires, old still alert lady, and its partners to deafness, and wooden too?
Why many students, their pain, column first, is by no means the university entrance exam, but don't know how to deal with their parents after college entrance examination defeat, family, teachers, classmates and friends?
Why do you the most reasonable, the trouble child, always quiet, lonely autistic, no vitality, is always neglected in many children?
......
, can be seen, all this phenomenon, appears to be our daily, is deeply rooted in our national character. 90% of our love and pain, and a basic fact about - most adults, psychological level is the baby. Like adults, it is carried out, and such countries, China is bigger.
As the "baby" and "baby" interpretation of the concept of the moment of the heart, national character, problems become clearly visible. Carried out a universal narcissistic psychology, which psychological collectivism and foolish filial piety deep psychological mechanism, the psychological mechanism, has given rise to China's good man, a control freak, persecuted delusion, helplessness, insecurity and manic depression and a series of psychological problems of the common.
We developed very complex behavior, on power, reputation, achievements and substances such as demand can rise to high levels, but they often is a defense, are two babies are not meet the original simple desire of transformation. A wish is: baby come to me; A wish is: look at me.
Wish you were here, hug your heart left out baby, live out yourself.
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