What is the farthest distance in the world?

①
As the saying goes, "one-third of the day is doomed, seven by hard work," the dime is too difficult to earn.

②
Mom came to my cell phone to my bedroom, said: daughter, ah, my mother always prompt memory shortage of mobile phones, landlords are now playing cards are started, you help me find.
I was playing the game, casually said: phone old, I have no way out!
So my mother turned away, muttered to himself: it seems only from the daughter of school fees in the buckle money to buy a new phone!
I quickly got up and said to her: Ma Ma, I think you have to save the phone!

③
Have a classmate to read the third grade, one night to call female students, unfortunately, the mother received the female students.
Is the daughter of a decline in the performance of the mother is a boy, very alert, very unhappy and asked: "What is your last name?
The boy said, "I'm Wei."
The tone of the other very unkind: "Wei what?"
The boy is more nervous, stammered answer: "I do not know why, my father also surnamed Wei ... ..."

④
Today, chat with the girlfriends, I asked girlfriends: What is the farthest distance in the world? Is it really the distance between life and death?
Girlfriend said: No, I want to snapped his life, but he just want to snapped with me all of a sudden ... ...

⑤
Soon the Chinese New Year, the family together to engage in health, the mother said the cabinet should be wiped clean above, so I wipe the chair to prepare, my father suddenly ran to say: You can not reach, or I come!
I smiled: Dad, I am now higher than you do.
My father smiled and touched my head: in our eyes, you will always be children.
I think, if I found my father in the cupboard above the private money, I can move a lifetime!

⑥
Last night after get off work, and friends to go running, ran half of the stomach pain was severe, said to a friend, you go to buy me a package of paper, I went to the toilet trip.
So fast for half an hour also did not see him, the legs are soft, Xunde also to die, the toilet is also no one, seeing it did not move, put underwear off wiping, thinking out to kill you.
Went to the door to see him holding a bun said: how do you come out, buns are cold.

⑦
Lunch break, Mom to call, let me go home trip.
Because not too far away, I ran back.
When I gasped ran into the house shouting: Mom, what matter?
Mom: nothing, I just want to see you look like a white run! . .
I: Mom, this is the play of the feudal lords, you know?
Mother: Play princes? I am a play pig, where you like a monkey! You're too fat, I want you to lose weight!

⑧
A not eight pole can not beat relatives with her bear child to me, all kinds of bears, pull the tail of my cat to the fish tank spit, and finally take my flat play, take the time to take away.
His mother said: children Well, so, by his two days to play what relationship.
I: That there is no game, no software, video, then only A V and G V, you sure to borrow?
Then she let her son back to the flat.

⑨
Pharaoh recently about a sister-line paper, talked for a few days to talk about very much.
Day sister suddenly about Pharaoh to her home, Pharaoh said that your husband come back we supposed, she said nothing, generally do not come back, if you want to come back you say you are hired me to clean the glass, the New Year, My husband will not doubt.
The results, the king just the door, said a few words, her husband came back, in order to install the realistic Pharaoh wipe the glass of the day, which did not wipe a few are also required rework rewrite ⋯.
On the way home Pharaoh grew more and more wrong ...
City routine deep which ... fast New Year dating to be careful! .
(Section Friends of ebony Nan share)

⑩
Last night to the female colleagues at home to eat, her mother was extremely enthusiastic performance, has been praising his daughter more filial, more sensible, and more holding home, saying that if married to her daughter who is absolutely good fortune, the last suddenly changed the subject, asked me: It 's too late, will you stay overnight?
I listened to ear 's "news network" theme song can not help but lost in thought. . .